Fuck Writer's Block

I recently struggled through a two or three week period of writer's block.  It was the most severe drought that I've experienced in the past two years.  I write nearly every day.  Typically I write poetry.  During the writer's block, I still tried to write, but I couldn't.  At least I couldn't write at a level that is acceptable to my standards. 

I once went through a 10 year stretch of life, without writing much of anything.  I had all but abandoned the idea of ever becoming a writer.  As life went on, the ups went up and the downs went down.  I found myself searching for a purpose, something that would define who I am as a human.  Whenever I would chase that search, following it all around the dark crevices of my heart, I always came back to one thing; writing.  A couple of years ago, I finally said "fuck it," and started writing again.  It was different writing in my mid 30's than it was when I wrote in my early 20's.  As a younger man, I wrote dreaming of fortune and fame.  I was going to write commercially appealing books and stories that would be bought up by the masses.  I was going to be John Grisham, Nicholas Sparks, Stephen King.  Never was there a thought of being me, finding my own niche in the literature world.  That's the difference today.

Today, I only write because I want to.  I only write because being a writer is what I've always wanted to be.  I may never be published.  I may never earn a single paycheck from anything that I've written.  People may not like my work.  None of this matters.  It only matters that I find personal fulfillment in putting words on paper.  After all, the guy who paints in his basement on weekends, is an artist, just as rightfully so as Picasso was an artist.  An artist makes art.  A writer writes. 

So struggling through the recent writer's block, I found myself more encouraged to write than ever.  I found it interesting that my lack of writing during those few weeks, affected my attitude a great deal.  When I don't write, when I can't write, it is difficult for me to be happy.  This realization reinforced my desire to write. 

Many people have asked me over the years, "what is a smart guy like you doing working in a factory?"  or "what is a guy who writes like that doing working here?"  The answers to these questions are complex, but are always answered as such; because working in a factory provides me just enough freedom to do whatever the fuck I want to do, when I'm not at work.  What I want to do is travel.  I want to write.  I want to spend as much time as possible with my lover, and I don't want her or I,  to have to worry about keeping the lights on while we are spending that time together.  I want to enjoy the freedom to do what I want, while providing for my children at the same time.  Working in a factory allows all of those things to happen.  It also provides me the freedom to write whatever I want, whenever I want.  I don't have to write things that I think people will pay money to read, because I already make enough money to live the life I want. 

All of that being said, I'm currently working on a novel.  I'm going to write novels and I have every intention of getting those motherfuckers published.  My name will be known around the country.  My books will be stocked in libraries from Palo Alto, CA to Schenectady, NY.  Some day, the same magazines that I long to be published in now, will harass my literary agent to schedule interviews with me.  Find that hard to believe?  I used to as well.  But I have the advantage of owning one of the most stubborn work ethics known to man.  I won't stop writing, no matter the effort it takes to get there. 

The writer's block has passed.  I'm back to writing most days.  Seventy hour work weeks in a factory be damned.  I'll come home and write late into the night anyway.  If I don't, it's difficult to be happy and being happy is the most important goal in life.