Saturday, February 21, 2015

Hibernatin'

Some bears and rodents hibernate through the winter months.  I'm not a zoologist, or ethologist, or whomever ologist it is that studies animals.  As I understand hibernation, the animals that hibernate, do so in order to survive the winter months, when food is scarce.  They eat a large amount of food, store the food in fat cells, slow their metabolisms down and basically sleep through the winter months. 

There are humans, like myself, that suffer from depression.  My depression is diagnosed by my primary care physician and my psychologist, as mild depression.  Usually my depression worsens during the winter months.  Some people experience a depression called S.A.D., or Seasonal Affective Disorder, in which they become depressed during the winter months.  This type of depression usually goes away when the season changes.  My doctor hasn't diagnosed me with Seasonal Affective Disorder, because I also experience depression at other times of the year. 

The older I get, winter seems to get longer, colder and more brutal.  My metabolism slows, but I still eat as much as I always do.  It isn't scientifically possible for humans to hibernate, although I often wish that it were.  I was thinking today (yes I know, me thinking tends to be dangerous) that I usually spend the warmer months doing things outside.  I love summer and sunshine and all of the outdoor things that come along with it.  I'm more active and sociable during spring, summer and fall.  Perhaps I soak up all of that sunshine and adventure in an attempt to store it inside, hoping that I've stored up enough to help me endure the winter.  I failed miserably this year. 

I have tried a handful of different prescriptions for depression.  My doctor constantly suggests them to me.  The difficulty for me, is that my depression is mild.  It isn't consistent for days, weeks or months.  I may feel depressed for a few days at a time, have one or two good days, before feeling depressed again.  Over the course of my life, I have developed coping mechanisms to deal with my mental health issues.  Usually after a couple of days of moping about depressed, I'll drag my carcass to the gym, meet with friends, or do something to get me out of the "funk."  Because of the "mildness" of my depression, I have always stopped taking the prescriptions that my doctor prescribes, because the side effects don't seem to be worth the hassle.  One medication made my head feel funny.  Another decreased my sex drive.  Fuck that shit.  I'd rather be a little depressed and still be able to get an erection.  That really is just fucking cruel.  We can give you a medication that will stop you from killing yourself, but you won't be able to maintain a hard on.  If ever, there was anyone that needed the ability to get it up, it's depressed people. 

In addition to mild depression, I have also been diagnosed with A.D.H.D., O.C.D. and P.T.S.D.  That's Attention Deficit, Hyperactivity Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for those of you unfamiliar with a psychologist's office.  Why am I sharing this with you?  Recently a friend on Facebook mentioned the stigmata associated with mental health issues in our society.  The stigmata needs to go away.  Many people struggle with mental health disorders.  I've decided that I won't add to the stigmata (I like that word, stigmata) and will no longer be silent about the issues that I deal with, often on a daily basis. 

I have a tendency to be lighthearted about most things in life.  I regularly joke about being crazy.  I won't stop doing that.  Being lighthearted is a large part of who I am.  If you find yourself needing help with your mental health, please do something about it.  Most employers have an Employee Assistance Program.  I have made use of the program at my job, on more than one occasion.  If you're unemployed, there are other programs available, although not as many as there should be.  Our government tends to not care much about your mental health, or your physical health really, but that is another topic, for another week. 

It's snowy, cold and miserable outdoors.  I hate winter.  I hate it more every year.  Because hibernation isn't a viable option, you're all stuck dealing with me through the winter months.  I'm sorry for that.  Well, at least I should be. 


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